Fortunately, no one was injured, but my pants were ruined.

When I got home, I decided to try to bleach them all over. Now, I have a pair of cool looking distressed pants.

“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” -Mother Teresa

I saw the above quote on Twitter, posted by @KeithFerrazzi this morning.

It really resonated with me today, in particular, because last night, one of my friends said that she was “overwhelmed and shutting down.” This isn’t particularly unexpected or odd, but I was wondering how I could help her re-engage and get over the hump, and this quote hit the nail on the head for me.

If you are troubled because the scope of the problem is too big, take smaller bites.

I didn’t want to work at behemoths like HP or IBM, but I wanted to work at a company of more than 50 employees; which almost noone—except for those of us working in micro startups—would consider “Corporate”.

One of the first things I said to Jason was that I thought I had been incredibly lucky but that I hadn’t been very strategic in my selection of opportunities. As we wrapped up our 2nd hour on the phone, Jason asked me to consider something: that I wasn’t lucky, but I was able to create opportunities out of thin air.

Jason asked me to take a week and think about it. At the end of a week of soul searching and discussing this thought with those I’m closest to, I got on the phone with Jason, again. To the question he posed, I responded, “I’m not sure I truly believe it, but I’m willing to entertain the thought. Where do we go from here?”

Jason asked me if I had considered writing a book, and I responded that I had, but had no idea where to begin. He said that if I were interested, he would be willing to help. I readily agreed.

Jason started sending me emails once a week with questions. I responded with long answers, as well as relevant stories. As we went along, I started talking to my friends, colleagues, family, and extended network about the book.

One of the people I spoke with was Sara Grace (@saragracer, www.mythousandmileyear.com), a coach and the soul of the RMA program. Over tea one afternoon, I told her about the book idea. She loved it, then told me that I needed to start a blog to get my ideas out. She enticed me with the possibility of guest blogging for Keith Ferrazzi some time in the future.

And here I am!

She reminded me that entrepreneurs, generally:
1) Know how to run a P&L;
2) Know how to have a personal stake in their work; and
3) Know how to sell.

When I asked her how I make myself attractive to headhunters, she asked me to think about the jobs I’ve gotten (either freelance gigs, employment, or clients), and figure out how I got most of them—through my network. At first, I realized that I had gotten some of my jobs through my network of friends, family and colleagues.

Upon further reflection, I realized that I only received two jobs through a straight application process: 1) a summer job after my Freshman year in college; and 2) a job as a consultant during the dotcom era. But I had landed dozens of gigs through my network over the years, including my earliest entrepreneurial experiences, when I was in high school.

Taken individually, if those points had been asked of me, I would have responded as Cindy had; however, until our conversation, I hadn’t realized how to put them together as a narrative or selling proposition.

I learned a long time ago that if something seems so easy that I couldn’t believe I didn’t realize it yourself, then it’s probably not the concept that’s easy, but the speaker who made it appear that way.

The pilot program of Relationship Masters Academy (RMA) started in April of last year during our Passover trek to Florida to visit my parents. I listened to the first web conference at my parents’ dining room table in Boca Raton. As I was sitting and listening to coach Cindy Cornell discuss how those in corporate America could transition to entrepreneurialism, I was struck with a feeling of deja vu; in fact, I had taken many of these steps at different points in my life when deciding when I could go out on my own or join a startup.

But I thought I wanted to go in the opposite direction: I had been an entrepreneur for years and was debating about returning to the corporate world (if any of my past jobs could truly be considered “corporate”).

I sent a message to the group wondering what those of us who wanted to return to corporate needed to do. Two things then happened:
1) Cindy asked if I would mind speaking on the call, so she could ask me questions about my particular situation. And,
2) I received a private response from Jason Owens to the effect of, “I’m another coach here, just listening to the call. I’ve done what you want to do; if you’re interested, I’d be happy to talk to you.”
Basically, on the 3rd day of the program, I had one coach who was about to give me specific advice on how I should approach my job search, and another who was willing to give me the benefit of his experience! Not bad for $100, eh?

And this was even before I really got into the coursework.

I emailed her back (I didn’t just hit reply, I’m a little smarter than that) and asked if she had sent that email to me. She wrote back, “Yes. Why? I think it would be good for you.” She further explained that she had landed at Ferrazzi Greenlight helping to start up an online arm of this group (RMA)—the group she was recruiting me for.

They were starting a Pilot Program, and for $100, I could get into a program that costs $10,000 in the real world. This was a 10 week course with lots of coaches and lessons.

I readily accepted—not for the value proposition which was not readily gleaned from the then current site, but because a) it would help my friend out; b) the cost was only $100; and c) my friend thought it would “be good for me”.

The first week of the program, my fee was returned ten times over after chatting with two coaches. But that’s a story for next week…

click here to read part II

We were a small group of 5 (we grew to 20) at the beginning, and everyone knew that I was actively dating. Our Marketing Manager, Leila, took it as her personal mission to find me a nice Jewish girl.

A few months after we moved to new offices, we decided to have a launch/check-out-our-new-offices party. One of my co-founders had met an event planner at another company’s launch party. He called her and had her come in and speak to one of our project managers about our event.

I met Janeen, the party planner, briefly and didn’t really speak with her much before the party.

At the party—unbeknownst to me—Leila approached Janeen and asked her what she thought of me. She said, “He’s cute.” She started flirting with me and touching my arm as we spoke.

I had some friends at the party who saw the chemistry between us and urged me to ask her out. Which I finally did the next day, when she came back to make sure the offices were clear of rentals and party sundries.

I remember quite clearly thinking, “This girl is way out of my league, but if it lasts the summer, then I’ll have a great summer.”

And, I did have a great summer—better than I could have hoped for.

We will be married 10 years next month. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

I received the title as a tweet from @JodiWomack of nomorenylons.com, and it got me thinking.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to close the deal—few people walk into a situation never having met the players. Also, in networking, it’s *you* that makes others want to help you. So, I agree with the premise.

However, your network (friends, family, colleagues, classmates) can be a close second to you.

Recently, someone I’ve known for almost 20 years as a friend, classmate, employer, and colleague was talking about a job search that one of her friends was conducting. She said, “You should get that job.” I just laughed, because I thought she was teasing. She asked me why I laughed, then said I’d be perfect for the job! I suspect that since that conversation, she’s spoken with her friend about me.

Now, whether I get the job—or even interview for it—is mostly up to me; however, it never hurts to have a reference from a respected source.

In essence, the Law of Attraction boils down to “think and ye shall receive.” Or for the more spiritual, put your desires out to the universe, and it will bring it to you.

While I don’t believe this, nor is there anything other than anecdotal “evidence” to recommend it, there is something appealing about it.

So, I modified it a bit and came up with Alden’s Hypothesis of Attraction or “AHA”: If you let everyone know what you want, you may get it.

This is not thinking about having a Ferrari and getting it (not the flaming ones in the news last year, in any event); it is about increasing your chance of success.

By telling everyone about it, you are investing people in your success. And even if they don’t *actively* get it for you, when they here of something that you want, they will think of you and tell you about it.

Basically, even if you only get passive help, the people you tell multiply your reach—allowing someone else’s ears to listen for a way to get what you want.
As an example, during the dotcom boom of the late 90′s, I was working for USWeb.  Eventually, I decided I wanted to go be an entrepreneur, again. I told anyone who would listen (and plenty who would not) that I was looking to be involved in a startup. I also explored this on my own.

A friend had become the head of marketing for a startup comprised of 4 people. When they decided they wanted to hire a CFO, he immediately thought of me. In my interview with the company CEO, he told me that I shouldn’t be the CFO; he wanted me to be the COO.

I was qualified for the position, and I was trying to apply for an operations and/or finance role at other firms, but people were leaving the corporate environment and going to startups in droves, so there was plenty of competition for jobs. I would *never* have come across this company had my friend not mentioned it to me.

This is just one example of AHA.